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Recovery in the News
Bono Mack talks of son's addiction
Maggie Downs
The Deseret Sun
February 21, 2009
Rep. Mary Bono Mack was in Washington, D.C., when her Blackberry buzzed.
It was her then-teenage son, Chesare.
He needed help.
“It was hard to admit I was so torn up,” said Chesare, now 20. “It's hard to say you've completely lost control.”
Snorting OxyContin started as a social thing, a way for Chesare to feel more mellow and relaxed. It didn't take long, though, for the powerful narcotic to wrap its tentacles around him.
“It got to the point where I couldn't function if I didn't have drugs in my system,” he said. “I couldn't go to class, I couldn't even get out of bed.”
At the worst point, Chesare was spending about $120 a day on the drug.
Bono Mack knows this story is not unique, but it is an important one to tell — she says her family is proof that nobody is immune from addiction.
This is not about being a congresswoman; it's about dealing with the same issues that could plague any family.
“This problem is so prevalent in our society, and we need to remove the stigma in talking about it,” she said. “If we help at least one other family start the conversation, it's worth it.”
The problems began around the junior year of high school for Chesare, son of the late Sonny Bono. The former Palm Springs mayor was serving his second term in Congress when he died in a skiing accident in January 1998.
“His grades didn't show it. But there were mood swings and little things that didn't add up at the time,” Bono Mack said.
“The signs are so secretive, and that's what's so dangerous about this kind of addiction,” she said.
“The hardest thing is trying to determine when someone crosses that line — when typical teenage drama becomes something more.”
The pain-killer provides a rush similar to heroin — addicts rub off the time-release coating and either snort or shoot up with the drug.
“It's basically time-released heroin. You put that in a brown bottle and give that to a kid, and it seems OK,” Bono Mack said. “They know crystal meth is bad, but this seems different because it's from a doctor.”
Recent studies indicate more teens abuse prescription drugs than any other illicit drug, except marijuana — more than cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine combined, according to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America.
In the Partnership's annual tracking study, one in five teens reported abusing a prescription pain medication.
“I tried nagging, I tried threatening, I tried punishment,” Bono Mack said. “Nothing worked until I made myself more accepting of him and his disease, letting him know that I'm available whenever he needs help.”
The day finally came when Chesare called.
Bono Mack was prepared. She said she had attended Al-Anon meetings and was receiving support from Chesare's half-sister Chastity Bono, who also struggled with addiction to prescription painkillers.
“(Chastity) was a lot of help and made it easier for him to get some comfort,” Bono Mack said. “The two of them are very close.”
They checked Chesare into the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage.
A couple of months later, he started doing drugs again.
After Chesare returned from the Betty Ford Center, he was caught using heroin.
“Rehab is a process,” Bono Mack said. “That initial stay built the foundation for his later recovery. I think it all helps.”
Eventually, Chesare was sent to Cirque Lodge in Utah.
Withdrawal from the narcotic can be brutal. The symptoms begin like the most terrible flu imaginable. Your bones ache, you can't sleep, everything is uncomfortable. Finally, your flesh crawls and burns in pain.
Worse than that for Chesare, though, was the emotional turmoil.
“The hardest part was adjusting to a completely different lifestyle,” Chesare said. “I had to make new friends and do different things and learn to live a different way.
“Every day is about learning to live without drugs.”
He has now been clean since August 2007. He is a student at Santa Monica College and works part-time as an assistant for Barry Manilow's tour manager.
“Rehab definitely created an awakening in Chez,” Bono Mack said. “He's taking responsibility for his actions and he's enjoying his life more, and that kind of change has been beautiful to see.”
The Palm Springs Republican said she realized that speaking openly about her family's struggle could draw fire.
“The people who criticize because of this are political opportunists or people who have sour grapes,” she said. “Ultimately, there will be people who will be helped by this, and that is our goal.”
Bono Mack shared her family's story recently with People magazine and on CBS's “Early Show.”
Response was immediate. A security guard stopped her at the airport, fellow elected officials have thanked her in D.C., and parents from all over the country have been calling and writing in support, she said.
Bono Mack is also doing work with the Partnership for a Drug-Free America to help raise awareness of prescription drug abuse.
“They were an invaluable resource when things were darkest for us,” she said.
The family continues to find strength in each other as they wade through the murky waters of recovery.
“For so long I felt guilty and blamed myself. Finally, Chez told me that beating myself up wasn't going to help him, and a light bulb went on,” Bono Mack said.
“I know from experience that you can't cry enough, and you can't yell enough — you just have to open the lines of communication and love.”
Maggie Downs is a features reporter for The Desert Sun. She can be reached at 778-6435 or maggie.downs@thedesertsun.com