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Recovery in the News
Out of the darkness 2: stories of triumph over drug addiction
Lynn Pinder
Baltimore Spiritual Writing Examiner
August 8 , 2009
Click here for original article
Baltimore - a city made famous worldwide by the nationally acclaimed HBO drama, The WIRE, for its ruthless illegal drug trade, unscrupulous police policies, corrupt politicians and failing school system - is a city of hope for many men and women courageously waging a spiritual war against the bondage of drug addiction. This article is the second of a series spotlighting individuals and/or organizations in Baltimore taking a spiritual approach against drug addiction.
Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop in downtown Baltimore facilitated by an awesome panel of individuals. These men and women spoke candidly about their personal triumph over drug addiction and their process of recovery.
Her Story: Tammye Watkins-Floyd
Tammye Watkins-Floyd describes herself as a 41-year old recovering mother of three beautiful children and the wife of a wonderful husband. Through a series of emails, she shared how her experimentation with illicit drugs as an early teen triggered her drug addiction as an adult. "As I continued to reach another level of euphoria, my addiction began to progress. I began using harder drugs like Morphine and Cocaine. As my addiction progressed, my self-worth, determination, respect, dignity and integrity demolished. I no longer cared about any of the characteristics that society looked upon as being meaningful," said Floyd who has been clean for sixteen years.
She saids that her journey to recovery began when she turned her will over to God and made up her mind that she was tired of living a life full of pain. Floyd describes how she began the process of recovery only to face her own reservation and relapse. She credits her family, her church family and several local drug treatment programs for not only planting the seeds of hope in her spirit, but giving her a second chance.
Floyd gives all honor, glory and praise to God and acknowledges that her faith is what kept her "grounded" throughout her entire addiction and recovery. She believes that people must have some spiritual awareness in order to overcome the disease of addiction. Floyd has definitely overcome the bondage of addiction and uses her experience to help save the lives of others. Her message of hope for people who want to seize their lives back from drug addiction is simple: Give recovery a try; it works!
With a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from Sojourner-Douglass College and a Master’s Degree in Human Services Administration/Counseling from Coppin State/University of Baltimore, Floyd is preparing to become a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. She encourages people to (1) take an honest assessment of their lives; (2) admit and accept they have an addiction; (3) determine whether they want to live or die; (4) be willing to do the work to support their recovery; and (5) be willing to give life a chance. Floyd said, "It [recovery] is not as hard as it seems. It’s all up to you. I truly believe that there is no progress without struggle. You’ve tried everything else give life a chance."
His Story: Mike Murrell
Michael Murrell is a 59-year old African-American man who used Heroin and Cocaine for 32 years. Murrell began using his first addictive substance - Nicotine - at the age of 13. About six months later, he tried alcohol. By the age of 16, he was smoking Marijuana. At age 17 during the 1960s Black Power Movement and the Flower Child eras, Murrell began experimenting with LSD and other mind altering drugs. At age 18, he was using Heroin on a daily basis; and by the age of 19, he started using "speedball," Cocaine laced with Heroin.
Murrell continued in his addiction throughout the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. "My life was in a destructive mode. I used drugs every day. By the end of my addiction, I was spending as much as $800 to $1300 a day. I was an intravenous user (needles in the vein)," he said. Even after losing both his legs, Murrell continued to use drugs. He admits that it was never his intention to stop using drugs; and whenever he did stop, it was only because he could no longer afford the habit. Thus, he would clean himself up for a while to get his tolerance down because he believed that he could use drugs and be successful at the same time. "Of course that never works," added Murrell who was forced to seek help from a recovery program because of pending court cases. His wake-up call came in October 1997 when his left arm was amputated.
It was only after losing two legs and an arm that Murrell realized that his drug addiction would eventually snatch his life if he did not get serious about his recovery. Murrell explained how he started telling himself that he could stop using drugs. He credits a team of doctors, nurses, drug counselors, family friends and "very serious praying" for helping him get to twelve years of being clean. He explains that Methadone maintenance was the best route to recovery for him. "I told myself that I would stay on the program for 18-months and follow the rules to the letter which meant no illicit drug use. With the support of my family and friends at Baltimore City Community College (BCCC), I enrolled in school. In 2006, Murrell received a Bachelor's Degree in Social Work. In 2009, he earned his Master's Degree in Human Service Administration. Recently, he was accepted into the Public Health Ph.D program at Walden University. "I realized that my success was up to me. Most importantly, for me, I do not socialize with active drug users," said Murrell.
His message of hope to people with an active addiction is a reminder that the cure to their addiction is in them. Murrell encourages the person who wakes-up in misery each morning making plans for a daily fix to take the time to tell him/herself that he/she will stop. Murrell believes that the more one convinces oneself that it is possible to stop using drugs the more likely that person is to be successfully when he/she enters recovery. Murrell defines recovery as people making every effort to work through a program of their choice. He acknowledges that some individuals may have to try multiple times before they are successful in recovery, but he encourages people to stay vigilant even if faced with relapse. "Remember this, it took one person (you) to get you into your situation, but it will take many (people) to help you out of it. There are many modes of treatment sometimes you will use two or three at a time. You may have to shop around for the right one to fit your needs," said Murrell.
A City of Hope
Both Watkins and Floyd are beacons of light in Baltimore. I decided to end this article with their answers to two poignant questions about drug addiction in Baltimore:
LP: Why do you think drug addiction and/or substance abuse is such a major issue in Baltimore?
Watkins: I feel that the drug addiction/substance abuse issue isn’t just a Baltimore issue although the people in the city have to be held responsible for their own lives. The city has plenty of recovery resources for people to utilize. What you may want to ask is: Do people feel the need to live a normal happy life? If their surroundings are plagued with darkness, then they will likely feel that life is full of darkness. Other important questions that need to be asked are: Are people ready to seek out the help they need, and do they want to get better?
I am living proof that it [recovery] works. I was tired of living like I was an animal, so I made a decision to do something about it. There is always talk about the negative effects of drugs but not enough about the positive effects of being exposed [to recovery]. People must visually see the evidence of recovery in order to have hope.
Murrell: Most of the citizens of Baltimore are hard working people who don't use drugs. The issue is the multiple problems associated with drug use. Drug users commit multiple crimes to support their addiction. The crimes range from robbery, theft, fraud and so on. Drug users place a heavy financial burden on the medical system because of overdoses, infectious diseases and violence related to drug use. Another problem is the underfunding of substance abuse programs and the lack of comprehensive programs - programs that offer multiple services such as medication, different forms of therapy, job and education assistance, parenting skills training, confidence building and community involvement in the recovery process. One of the most comprehensive programs I know is the Family Reunification Program (FRP). The issues with substance abuse in Baltimore are numerous but not impossible to address.
LP: What do you think needs to happen to break the cycle of addiction in Baltimore?
Watkins: We need a commitment from the City officials. This commitment needs to start by educating people not only about the negative effects of addiction but the positive effects of recovery. They must start by taking the education of our youth serious. The Baltimore City Public School System needs to implement this type of information into school curricula. Our youth are dying everyday as a result of making poor decisions that stem from drug use. Our youth have been placed in this state of darkness and they don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. The youth in this city have no place to go to express themselves. There has to be places provided for them to go and develop the talents that are hidden within them. I was once told that if you don’t entertain them they will entertain you. The youth need outlets. How do you expect the youth of our communities to prosper if they can't see hope? There needs to be places they can go like recreation centers and churches. The parents must teach their children about respecting one another. The youth seem to have no sense of love anymore. The cycle can be broken, but the village must be rebuilt.
The people in the community have to stop being afraid to fight for what is right. We all play a major role in this issue. We are either part of the problem or part of the solution. The people of Baltimore have to take a stand and decide whether they are part of the problem or part of the solution.
Murrell: My honest answer to this question is that we will never break free of the cycle of addiction as long as we allow the promotion of tobacco products and alcohol beverages in our communities. We allow our children to listen to and watch videos glorifying alcohol, drugs and violence. And as long as there is money to be made from drugs, we will always have a drug problem.
There is a chance of minimizing the effects of drug addiction in Baltimore, but it will take a strong community effort that involves law enforcement, educators, medical professionals, legislators and community residents. Communities cannot sit passively and allow drug traders to take root in their neighborhoods. They have the one thing drug dealers don’t have; communities have the law on their side.
I believe that any faith that teaches the good of the Almighty Creator and encourages love toward one another is a major part of overcoming any obstacle in life. I believe that each of us are given the abilities we need to succeed in life from birth, but throughout the life cycle we misuse these abilities because we lose faith in the Creator and ourselves. It has been my observation that we all need to be guided back on the right path at some point in our lives.