Our Stories
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Our Stories
Ed Dost
At 14 years of age
around 1962 I first began using marijuana. It quickly escalated to LSD,
amphetamines, downers, and on and on. For the most part I stuck with cocaine
and amphetamines for the next 40 years. I will never forget that it all
started out with marijuana. As far as I can remember there was never 2 days
in a row I was not high except when incarcerated. As incredible as it sounds
somehow I managed to hold down jobs most all of that time. During the in
between jobs I would travel from state to state picking up drugs here,
usually in the south, and selling them there, usually in the northern
states. Part of my sickness was loving the risk and being treated as
important since everyone came to me to get drugs.
In the last ten years of my
drug use I got into both manufacturing methamphetamine and selling large
quantities for the Mexican cartels here in the Northwest.
Eventually I got caught for the manufacturing and got sentenced to 5 years
which I served in Walla Walla. Probably the best thing that happened to me
in a long time. Five years clean and I managed to stay clean two more years after I
got out. Yet after all of those years of using and dealing I still wasn't
done but the seed of recovery was planted.
For the next 5 years or more I went back to the cartels because I knew I could
make enough to get back on my feet quickly. After prison good paying jobs
were hard to come by. My associates in the cartel would front me all the
meth I wanted. I really didn't plan to stay into selling drugs for that
long but once an addict, some say always an addict, I say the potential is
always there. During that period with the cartel I had several really close
calls with large quantities and I knew eventually I would wind up back in
prison. It was just a matter of time. Also during this period I got into a
live in relationship with a girl who had a habit like none I'd ever seen. Even though I was high every day I managed to pace myself to a daily
maintenance use. The girl I hooked up with would use a quarter to a half
ounce per day easily. Well that was no problem until after I had a couple
close calls and almost got busted with several pounds of meth on several
occasions.
I decided to quit selling. Needless to say when the drugs stopped
coming major problems developed between my girlfriend and me. She pushed and
pushed me to continue supplying her drugs. Eventually she cleverly alleged a
domestic assault on me to get me out of the house so she could get drugs
from one of my old connections using her womanly ways to pay for the drugs.
I was only in jail for a couple of days on the domestic violence charge but now there was a
restraining order keeping me out of my own house. Despite all of the ups and
downs in my lifetime this was one of the lowest. Even though I was pretty
sure I could beat the domestic violence charge it seemed that this was an opportunity to
get myself some help. I pleaded guilty to the domestic violence charge and was referred to
probation. As I'd hoped, I got an awesome probation officer. My probation
officer was a young Latino woman who had previously worked as a substance
abuse counselor. I took a gamble and watched the dumbfounded look on her
face as I spilled my guts out to her at our first meeting. She must have
believed that no one would be telling a probation officer the things I was
telling her unless they really wanted help. She was totally amazed at my
forthrightness.
At any rate I was now homeless since anyone I would stay
with was a drug user, given my circumstances, I would probably use if I went
to a drug house. Furthermore I wanted to get into an inpatient treatment
center ASAP. She couldn't help me with a place to stay but began making
calls immediately to get me into mental health counseling and the first
treatment center available. The latter wound up being a 30 days waiting
list. Since I had a pickup with a canopy I had a place to sleep but a safe
place to park nights was hard to come by. Several times I stayed in the
driveways of drug using friends so I also had a place to shower. Given my
circumstances I relapsed 3 times waiting to get into treatment but I always
called my probation officer up the next day and told her what I'd done. She never once charged me with a probation violation even though she could have.
Finally a bed came open for me at a recovery center here in Port Angeles so
I drove up here immediately. After 45 days inpatient I got discharged to a
private recovery house. A month later a grant was awarded for an intensive
year and a half out patient treatment. This award was for high risk patients
with long term methamphetamine addiction. This was an intensive outpatient
program which featured a substance counselor and a mental health counselor
at every meeting. Meetings were 3 hours a day 4 days per week. Of the 25 who
entered that program I am 1 of 2 who has remained clean ever since. 10 years
clean this coming May.
As I was ending this outpatient
program I Registered at the Community College to get a degree as a substance abuse counselor. Although I do not currently work as a professional
counselor anymore I felt it was the one thing I could do to help atone for
some of the damage I had caused to others.
Treatment was the best thing that ever happened to me and the only regret I
have is in not seeking it sooner.
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